and there we have it folks. he just wants to be friends. i’m beyond sick of being let down like this. i can’t stand it anymore. i want once, JUST ONCE to not get rejected. FUUSDFKSNDCSDKFN@(#@%&@(#%*@#%CK. i’m hurting a lot right now: not so much because of him, because i’m over it! i’m over it all! i. give. up. this is me officially giving up. officially forever alone.
but you know what? i’ll meet another guy in a few months, fall for him, get rejected and then “officially give up again”… WHY WON’T I LEARN!? guys don’t like me in that way. well at least this one “thinks [i’m] hot”. i mean GREAT, all is better now… not. i’m more insulted that he thought i was hot, got to know me, and decided against it.
guys just don’t see me as anything but a friend, and as good as that may be at times.. i’m so freaking lonely.
plus, my best friend having sex all the time and bragging about it isn’t helping. and then going “you need to get on to this” it’s like you know what? screw you. you’re actually really hurting me when you mock the fact that i don’t have sex and have boys drooling over me. and i’m jealous of the fact that you have problems with ex boyfriends and current boyfriends and girlfriends. i’d love that! because at least i would have had something in the first place.
i just feel so emotionless and angry and hurt.
and i’m tired of not letting myself get excited about someone, because i know it will end badly. i want to be able to like someone without my impending rejection hanging over my head and tainting the amazing feeling of meeting someone incredible.
this was a long rant.. i know nobody’s going to read it the whole way through, but i needed to get it off my chest.
message me if you read it all, i’d like to know if anyone actually pays attention to this blog.
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