it’s just that i try so hard to be the person that i want to be and to look the way i want to look… well, what people want me to look like.
and it works in the fact that everywhere i go people stare at me, but those are random people that don’t speak to me. i want somebody to actually tell me that they think i’m beautiful and mean it.
i’m sick of never hearing it. nobody has ever said anything like that to me in person. i know it’s probably because of my awful personality, but the harder i try to be perfect, the more doubtful i get.
i mean, my skirt can’t be shorter, my bra can’t push up any more, i’m tanned, i can’t wear more makeup, i can’t do more to my hair, i think my style is pretty good. i’m fit and skinny and i’m still not beautiful.
what a horrible realisation that i can do absolutely nothing about.
