i broke down crying at school today.
i just am over everybody. the best way to describe how i feel is “unattractive and unloved”.
i’m also over everything. i just want to skip to the good parts.
i just want to go to uni and do my degrees. i don’t want to do high school anymore. i want to live my life.
i’m sick of not being a normal teenager. always training or playing, always running or eating the right amount of everything. i’m going to say that being an athlete is just as hard, if not as hard, mentally as it is physically.
but i’ve ranted about that a thousand times on here before.
i have this reoccurring thought to give up my football. because i couldn’t live with myself if i don’t achieve my goals. but then who would i be without football?
i’d almost certainly be an apathetic, pathetic, alcoholic waste of a life. and who wants that?
also, i’ve figured out that the reason guys don’t like me is because i’m a bro.
they see me as nothing more than another mate who happens to have a good body.
that’s another thing. i hate my face.
it’s letting the rest of me down. poor form face, poor form.
does anybody else have aspirations that they have to make major sacrifices for? tell me about how you’d feel about giving up the aspirations vs. continuing the sacrifices.
